Please welcome our latest victim guest, Peter Friend. On the metal plate suspended above that puddle by wires is a chocolate fish. Behave and the delicious pink marshmallow fish covered in chocolate won’t end up a goopy mess on the floor.
In the event of an earthquake/zombie plague/or random occupation - you’ll find emergency procedures taped to the bottom of your seat. Yes, just like a flotation device. You’ll also find a Glock 17 with a full magazine.
Remember you cannot reason with zombies and it’s a head shot every time.
1. What’s your favorite type of takeaway? (Yes, that means take-out in NZ speak)
Sushi is my once-per-week treat.
2. Describe your current mental status.
Conscious, probably. But if I wasn’t, would I know?
3. I know how I do what I do … but how do you do what you do?
Press the keyboard at semi-random. Read the first draft and weep. Stare sullenly at the computer screen for hours. Let brain mysteriously fix story problems at 3am, and try to remember them later. Rewrite the story from scratch. Fix all the bits which weren’t wrong before but are wrong now. Repeat as necessary, for weeks/months. Eventually show the result in public and hope for the best. Start again from step 1.
4. Could you tell us a little bit about your latest work?
My most recently published work is middle-grade interactive adventure Deadline Delivery, set in a post-apocalyptic flooded city full of pirates, crocodiles, and worse.
I’m now writing another interactive adventure, this one about kids who fall into a dungeon exploration computer game.
5. Do you have a favorite coffee or tea?
6. Walk us through a typical day. (Do you make sure you’re wearing your lucky underpants before you sit down to write, perhaps you prefer commando? While we’re discussing your underpants, boxers, briefs, or budgie smugglers. Inquiring minds want to know. Yes, that includes my Admins… we don’t piss off the Admins.)
Boxers, so my boys can swing in the breeze. Not that it improves my writing any - I don’t write that sort of thing. (Okay, I probably would if it paid well...) A typical writing day? See answer to Question 3. Hours of that, plus breaks for snacks, research, Facebook, and housework, only some of which helps with the writing.
7. Tell us about your main character. (How did you first meet? Would you like to hang out with him/her? What delights you the most about writing him/her? You get the idea …)
I’m writing interactive fiction, so my main character is you the reader. Which is weird to write, breaking a lot of the usual writing rules, but also fun, especially writing about “your” best friends who’ve fallen into the computer game with you. They're awful, I don't know how you put up with them.
8. Who are your favorite writers?
Neil Gaiman, Frances Hardinge and John Green are my current top three. (I presumed you didn’t want my top hundred.)
9. Who inspires you to do better? (Be as corny as you’d like… just go for it! Mmmm chocolate fish.)
Every good writer (I wanna write like that) and every bad writer (I coulda done better than that).
10. Do you ever put pants on your dog, cat, or budgie?
Certainly not, you sick pervert.
11. Describe your perfect day.
No writing deadlines, a large royalty payment appears in my bank account, and a total stranger writes a nice Amazon review of one of my books.
12. Who is your favorite fictitious villain? Or are you all about the hero? Who do you love to hate?
Nah, every protagonist needs an antagonist, but out-and-out villains don’t appeal to me.
13. Do you have any quirks?
No, I’m completely normal, it’s everyone else who’s weird.
14. All-time favorite movie and why?
Labyrinth. So inventive, and so insanely logical.
15. Do you enjoy the editing process?
Slightly more than dental surgery.
16. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be and why?
A penthouse apartment paid for with my book royalties.
17. Favorite Pizza topping?
Cheese, coz otherwise it’s just a really really flat round loaf of bread, right? On top of the cheese, pretty much anything except olives or anchovies.
18. What were you before you became a writer?
A small child who hadn’t learnt to write yet.
19. What is the most random thing you have ever done?
Okay, I just rolled some dice. A 1, a 5, and a 2. Random enough for you?
20. If you’re not working, what are you most likely doing?
Reading or sleeping.
21. Who is your ultimate character?
Dunno, haven’t written them yet.
22. Whiskey or Bourbon? Red or white wine? Tequila? Beer?
Nope, I’m teetotal. As far as I’m concerned, wine is just grape juice that’s gone off.
23. What’s in your pockets? (Or handbag, whatever you carry your stuff in. Are you apocalypse prepared?)
So long as it’s only a minor apocalypse and my ATM card and phone will still work, then yes, I’m fully prepared.
24. Laptop, PC, Mac, tablet?
Whatever. Laptop/PC for writing.
25. Ebook or tree book?
Both, I’m medium-agnostic.
26. Favorite apocalyptic scenario?
The cartoon Adventure Time - there was some kind of massive disaster around a thousand years ago, but no one knows or particularly cares what it was. We humans have short memories...
27. Where do you do most of your writing?
In front of my computer. And in bed asleep - see answer to Question 3.
28. What’s the hardest thing for you when it comes to being an author? (For me it’s marketing but for others it’s the actual writing …)
Shrinking markets, and a zillion terrible books out there. Rising above the slush to get noticed is getting harder and harder.
You made it!! Damn, you rock. Now would you like to try for the chocolate fish? Mind the puddles … but hurry. Power surges are common in the dungeon; you don’t want to have one hand on the metal plate containing that delicious chocolate fish and a foot in a puddle...
That laughter you hear is coming from The Knight, he probably won’t flip that switch he has his hand on. Probably …
You can find out more about Peter Friend in the following places ...
Deadline Delivery is available from Amazon, both as a standalone book https://www.amazon.com/dp/B019LFO9N8 or as part of a boxset of four You Say Which Way adventures - the paper edition is in stock at Writer's Plot Readers Read.
His next book will also be published by https://yousaywhichway.com/ .